Lotz of Love

I once heard at a Training seminar that it's bad to watch the news in the morning because you are most likely going to have a negative start to your day once you hear the news. They suggest you start your day off by visualizing a productive day and surround yourself with positive people. I applied this lesson this weekend. I kicked off this weekend with my good friend Kate Lotz-Siemsen. We worked out together and grabbed breakfast afterwards. I always enjoy spending time with Kate because she is always positive and uplifting. In order for me to describe my friendship with Kate, I first need to give you the background of how we met.

Kate was my first girl friend in Chicago and we met through Yellow Book. When I first transferred to the office, I was overwhelmed and intimidated. The Chicago office was a lot younger and a lot hipper than my old office. I walked in and I saw a bunch of cliques sitting together before the regional meeting started. I seriously felt like I was the new kid in a high school trying to find a seat in the cafeteria. I found an empty seat by the wall and sat down before the meeting started. During the meeting, I looked around the office and I saw a table of well-dressed pretty girls sitting together. They were all nice and tan in the middle of January. It turned out they had just gotten back from Costa Rica. It was obvious they were the cool girls of the office. After the meeting was over, I saw one of the girls from the cool group walking towards me. She had a big smile on her face that made me feel really welcome. She introduced herself as Kate and invited me to sit with her and her friends. Of course I accepted.

After that first day in the office, Kate was always inviting me to meet up with her and her friends for lunch, dinner or a fun night out. Six weeks after I moved to Chicago, I began to travel 90% of the time for work so I wasn't around during the week. Kate still kept in touch with me and let me know that I was always invited to hang out with her and her friends. I would often decline the invite because I was so tired when I got back on the weekends but she never stopped thinking of me. She would always send me texts or write me cards saying "hello" even though she lived several blocks north of me. There's nothing better than coming home from a business trip to see a card in your mailbox from a friend that says "I look forward to hanging out soon!"

Now that I have described the "friend" side to Kate, there is also another side to Kate. Kate is a local celebrity. SERIOUSLY. Kate knows everyone in Chicago and she is friends with all of them. We can't go anywhere without running into someone she knows. What is even more amazing is that Kate "the local celebrity" carves out time for everyone in her life. She makes me and all of her friends feel so special. When we're at a social gathering, Kate will always make her rounds and talk to everyone. She always gives you her undivided attention. She is not there to make small talk. Instead, she is eager and excited to have a heart to heart conversation with you. When she asks, "How are you?", you can actually pour your whole heart out to her at a rock concert and she would listen to you like you are the only person in the room.

Not only is Kate genuinely interested in you and what you have to say, Kate is always thinking of other people FIRST, even when she should be thinking about herself. Kate got married two days before I left for my backpacking trip. I went to her beautiful wedding and stayed through half of the reception. I wanted to stay longer but I didn't finish packing up my apartment and the movers were coming the next day. When I said goodbye to Kate, she told me she had something for me. She came back with a huge gift bag of goodies for me to take on my trip. She gave me a journal, a bunch of treats for the flight and a heartfelt message wishing me the time of my life. On my way home from the reception, I was so touched and I am still touched today by the fact that Kate took time out of her special day to put this together for me. We all know days leading up to a wedding and the actual wedding day are hectic days with so many things going on and so many things to coordinate. Who in the world has time to put together a going away gift and then remembers to bring it to the reception? KATE.

It's been 5 years since I first met Kate in the office. I still get special notes and cards from her. A month ago, I got back to Chicago after being away for 2 weeks. I received a note saying, "Hope you're having a nice week! I thought this picture was cute." The picture was of me and Steve from Halloween. Thank you, Kate! I am constantly inspired by the endless amount of love and energy that you put into me and everyone in your life :)

Happy Birthday Brandy!!!

Today is my dear friend Brandy's birthday. Brandy Cohen and I met for the first time at Hangge-Uppe’s back in May 2005. At the time, Brandy was dating Brad (they got married in 2008). I was very anxious to meet Brad's girlfriend. I mean this in a loving and heartfelt way but my first thought was, "I can't wait to meet this wack job who is dating Brad Cohen." I honestly thought Brandy was going to be as nutty as Brad (Brad will definitely be a topic in a future blog). The minute I met her, I immediately realized she was nothing like him. They definitely have opposite personalities yet they are so drawn to each other and bring out the best in each other. Brandy is the voice of reason for Brad. Brad brings out the "crazy" side in Brandy. Now I can't imagine each of them with anyone else :)

Brandy is absolutely beautiful. She could be wearing a trash bag around her body and she would still be stunning. She is a natural beauty who doesn’t have to wear make up but still would be the most beautiful person in the room. I’m writing this because Brandy is so modest that she is probably turning bright red and so embarrassed reading this right now. I have always admired Brandy’s modesty because there are so many self centered people who brag about themselves when they really have no reason to be. Then you have someone like Brandy who has every right to be cocky but she is not. She is definitely appreciative of everything in her life but she is the furthest thing from being obnoxious and arrogant. A perfect example of Brandy’s modesty is what she said to me a few weeks before her wedding day, “Nancy, I’m so excited but I’m getting nervous because I don’t want the attention on me that day.” Let’s be honest….we all know the wedding day is the bride’s day and the bride rightfully gets to have all the attention on her. I’m a firm believer of this and so is Brandy. The only difference is that Brandy would much rather shower every other bride with attention but she would be happy to push the attention off of her on her big day.

Not only is Brandy beautiful on the outside, she is beautiful on the inside. Brandy has a warm personality that exudes class and grace. She rarely talks badly about other people and she is the last person to spread gossip. Brandy cherishes the relationships she has with her family and friends. She is a great listener who always offers great advice with your best interest in mind. Even though we may have different things going on in our lives, I can always count on Brandy to be compassionate about my life and the choices that I make. Thanks for being a great friend Brandy! Happy Birthday Yoshi!!!!

It's Game Time!

I have never played sports. I have always been afraid of the ball and I still am. I have no hand-eye coordination. I hated Gym class. I was the girl standing on the sidelines during Gym braiding hair or making friendship bracelets. Even though I never played on a team, I'm a huge sports fan. I love watching sports and cheering for my friends or cheering for my favorite professional teams. So many of my friends play softball, soccer, football and basketball. I just run or do any cardio activity that doesn't involve a ball. I wish I were good enough to play a sport. I've always wanted to be on a team that plays in front of a cheering crowd or be on a team that makes a big comeback to win a Championship. A part of me feels like I missed out on a special part of life because I never belonged to a sports team.

By now, a lot of my friends know these last 3 weeks have been tough because I'm going through a difficult time with my family. I've never been this sad, hurt, angry, stressed and disappointed. In many ways, I consider myself very lucky that after 31 years, this is the first time in my life where I've actually felt really down and out. I have been truly fortunate to have a healthy and happy life. Now, I'm being challenged and tested and really learning about what it takes to get through a major hurdle in my life.

I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks and it dawned on me....AT LAST, I AM PLAYING A SPORT. I'm playing a sport called: LIFE. There is no ball but there is an opponent. The purpose of this game is to never give up and always keep the end goal in sight. My teammates are my friends. My friends are more than just teammates. They are coaches. They are my biggest fans.

TEAMMATES: You can't win a game without the support from your team. My friends are the best teammates. They have been incredibly supportive during this difficult time. They have opened up their hearts and minds to me as they always do. I'm blown away by their endless amount of compassion. They always make themselves available and they listen to me talk things through for the 100th time. I know this must be exhausting for them. We all have friends who constantly talk about the same thing over and over again even though there is nothing more to be said. I've become "that person" but my friends make me feel completely welcome and encourage me to be this way.

COACHES: You can't win a game without proper coaching. My friends are the best coaches. A good coach always knows how to point you in the right direction. Even though this situation can't be resolved over night, my friends have coached me along and offered me guidance and heartfelt advice. A good coach also knows when to push. My friends have been great about giving me the good ol' wake up call that I need to stay focused and they always remind me to fight hard for what I want. Finally, a good coach knows when to hold back. My friends have shown me how much they care about me but they don't smother me. They always make it a point to give me time and space to sort things out.

FANS: Every team needs to have a great fan base to cheer you on and get the momentum going when you're feeling defeated. My opponent is tough. My opponent knows how to break me down. Sometimes I feel incredibly defeated and I don't know how much I have left in me to fight. During these defeated moments, I am torn between my family and what I want for my life. However, it is during these frustrating moments that I always manage to get a phone call, email or a quick text from someone just checking in on me and telling me that they believe in me. My friends always tell me, "We want you to be happy and we want you to go after what makes you happy." This unconditional support from my friends is the momentum swing that I need. They are true fans. They are there for me through good times and bad times.

I keep on mentioning my friends, my friends and my friends.....WELL, I'm leaving out one of my most special friends and that would be Steve. Steve is my best friend. Steve is my boyfriend that I love so much. Steve has been a solid rock throughout this whole situation and I would not be able to get through this without his support. I opened up to Steve about this concern several months ago. I was scared to even bring it up because I thought this would put an end to our relationship. When I finally mustered up the courage to tell him, he took it pretty well and said, "Your parents are just looking out for you and they want to make your life easy for you." His response made me realize that Steve is a big hearted person who understood me and my family. It made me care about him even more than I already did.

When things started getting bad with my family a few weeks ago, his first response was, "I promise not to take this personally. This is just a hurdle we'll get through together." Steve's unshakeable belief in us means so much to me. Even though he seems cool and confident about everything, I still get worried that this will drive us apart. Every time I freak out, he always says, "Nothing has changed between us." He always provides an endless amount of reassurance and hope for me. I am grateful to have him in my life. I will write about him in a separate blog but I just summed up a few of the many reasons why he makes me happy and why I want to be with him.

Steve PLUS my Friends = Winning Team!!! This team plays a special role in my life. Their combined relentless efforts keeps me motivated and fired up to win. My opponent is leading the game right now but we're not far behind. I know we will make a comeback. My ultimate goal is to have acceptance from my family. I know this will take time. For now, I just want to have a normal relationship with Steve. I want to function like a normal couple who doesn't have this big cloud over our heads. I want to experience the typical highs and lows of a relationship and not let this situation define us. Steve and my friends make this happen for me. I am playing with the best team in the League of Life and we are unstoppable :)

The Love Story of Beth and Nancy

This week I've been working from VA. It's always nice to be in VA because I get to spend time with my family and my friends. Last night I went out to dinner with one of my good friends Beth. It was one of our typical dinners filled with good conversation and lots of laughter. The only thing missing was Pashin8 (my car that we used to cruise around in while listening to cheezy music and having long talks about life, work and of course boys).

Beth and I have known each other for 8 years and we had one major thing in common when we first met: We were both single. We used to be each other's +1 to every event. Beth and I could seriously write a book about all the crazy guys that we have dated or encountered. Whether it was online dating or the many set-ups by our friends, some how we would end up with an interesting story that would leave us laughing hysterically. We were the best partners-in-crime as we would embrace each dating saga. Beth and I became professional daters of the 21st century. We could dissect every Match profile and learn the true meaning behind their profiles. We also had a few text messaging relationships that didn't mount to much other than a bunch of flirty texts back and forth with guys that didn't know how to pick up the phone. The list goes on and on......

During our dating escapades, I have always admired Beth for never settling and always sticking to her values. Beth never sold out to the pressures of getting married. She would always support me unconditionally when people would criticize me for being too picky about guys. Beth never questioned my standards and high expectations, even if my standards and expectations differed from hers. After our many comical dating incidents, Beth met an amazing guy and she is now married to Rob Young. I'll never forget the first time I met Rob. It was so great and fulfilling for me to see them together. I immediately felt the love and happiness between them. I am so happy they found each other because they are perfect for each other. I know they will have a wonderful life ahead of them.

We ended our dinner last night by saying that we can actually go on a double date for the first time in 8 years! Next time we'll have to bring the boys along :)

My Cupcake of the Day....

I have always envied the people that win an Oscar. I never had aspirations of being an actress but I envy these award winning actors because they get to stand in front of millions of people and thank the people that have inspired them when they accept their award. I would love to express my gratitude to all the incredible people in my life in front of millions of people because I want everyone to know how much I cherish these special people in my life.

Before I left for my trip, I started putting together a journal of the people from my past and present that have inspired me. I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by amazing people throughout my life. I am so grateful for all the different life experiences that I have had because each experience has brought me a new friend.

I want to use this blog as my way of giving an "Oscar" speech. I titled this blog "My Cupcake of the Day" because we all know I love cupcakes. Seriously, the thought of eating a cupcake just brings a smile to my face and when I'm having a rough day, a sweet cupcake can soften any blow. Now, I don't eat cupcakes everyday, even though I want to. However, I feel like I have some sort of special treat everyday through the many souces of inspiration in my life. Sometimes it can be something major like going to the Oprah show but often it is the simplest things that warms my heart and brings a smile to my face. It is that simple thing that I consider my cupcake of the day.

I want to thank Carolina Beltran and Abby Nicol for inspiring me to start writing again. Carolina has a great blog where she shares her innermost thoughts. I admire her courage and her willingess to put everything out in the open. Her blog address is only disclosed to her friends so I can't share it with you but trust me, it's fabulous! Abby has a great blog called http://www.simplecreativeinspiration.blogspot.com/ In her blog you will find Abby's great fashion finds, decorating ideas, new boutiques, yummy recipes, and many other creative ideas. I don't need to pick up Real Simple magazine anymore because I just follow Abby's blog! Thank you Carolina and Abby for making me realize how much I miss writing and how much I miss documenting my daily life experiences. XOXO